Cancer Bats – Dead Set on Living

This is an absolutely insurmountably heap of useless shit, and I don’t know where to begin. So in place of a review, I thought I’d name 10 things I would rather do than ever listen to this album again.

1. Eat a gallon of unsweetened yoghurt using nettles as a spoon
2. Fuck a tramp without a condom
3. Read Shades of Grey
4. Drink a bottle of vodka with my eyes and a pipette
5. Go babysitting with the singer of Blood for Blood
6. Dislocate all my joints and pretend I’m Mr Tickle/Stretch Arm Strong
7. Get a job as Fred Phelps’ speech writer (I actually would quite like this job)
8. Have a tabasco colonic
9. Suicide by papercuts
10. Listen to Your Demise

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