Spidercrew – Still crazy but not insane

Aah, am I glad that I live in a nice suburban neighbourhood where nothing really ever happens. I could have been living in the streets of hate in Vienna, where you get stabbed in the back when you are not loyal to your crew.

Some could argue that Spidercrew is the final nail in hardcore’s coffin, on the other hand, they could very well be the definition of hardcore. It all depends on your views on what hardcore should be. I love it when there is a lot of big talk that sounds like Conan the Barbarian grew up in a bad neighborhood and got tattoo’s instead of scars from battle. On the other hand it is so far away from the reality that I know that it’s hard to take it serious. The lyrics are so oversimplified and cliché-ridden that it reminded me of Andre Hazes’ writing method. Just sit down with a rhyming dictionary and if it sounds great the fans will gobble it up like very hungry, hungry hippoes. The black and white view on this world is admirable. You can only do this when you know what your place in this world is. It somehow also reminded me of Social Distortion lyrics and horoscopes. There is something here for everyone and you should be completely devoid of human DNA if you wouldn’t find something to relate to. It feels more like a parody than an actual record of how life is at the bottom of society in Vienna.

Musically the album has no surprises at all. Which could be a good thing. Or again the ultimate sign that hardcore has reached it’s full potential and there isn’t a next step. I own most of their previous albums, you might ask yourself why when you read this, and there isn’t much progression to be heard. Now this again is no problem at all. Millions of bands do it. Iron Maiden and Motorhead wouldn’t be what they are if they didn’t do the same trick over and over again. And let’s be honest. You want it like that. There is nothing worse than going to an Iron Maiden concert and first have to stand 70 minutes long boring yourself to death, or getting more drunk than you supposed to, listening to their newer stuff before the ‘Number of the beast’ intro starts. That’s why you go to Iron Maiden these days, for the last few songs and the encore. Because their newer stuff is rather awkward and hard to get through untill you forced yourself more than enough to realise it’s the same old song all over again (in a slightly different and sucky way). There is really no use for surprises on a Spidercrew album. They do what they do and they do it with their hearts and souls. And the fans love it.

And that’s what bothers me the most. I could tell you this is a shitty album and get all pretentious and whine about intelligence, originality and other stuff I find important in music. But this is their life. They live and breathe hardcore. This is why the six members of this band get up every morning and struggle through their daily jobs. You can’t blame them for that. And come on, most of the guys who bit your head off for not being straight edge are some of the biggest dopefiends ever. So this isn’t a bad album at all. It does what it does, it is what it is and you can deal with it. Simple as that. And yes, this sounds like Agnostic Front, Madball, Hatebreed, Sick of it all and so on. I am convinced this won’t change your life or give you a deeper insight into yourself. That isn’t what these guys want to do. They just want to get some stuff off their chests with ‘Bruno the bear sings to you’ vocals. I say let them do it. Because I rather hear a band that loves what they do, have a lot of fun along the way and couldn’t care less about what I think than some pretentious dickheads that got their songs out of their mathbooks.

So as far as this review goes, this is the choice you have as a potential fan of Spidercrew. It works in more than one way. Is hardcore more than a lifestyle for you and the world your enemy? This is your soundtrack. Is hardcore the biggest joke in your life, but the most important joke ever? This might not be your album. Are you crying with your crew of menstruating men to all these hipster emobands on a hardcoretrip and do you have a Bon Iver tattoo on your ass? This might be the medicine you need. Either way it’s impossible to give this a score because if you are like me, you can still have a great time with all the clichés and lyrics that you will hear.

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